With my particular station I wanted to explore how we feel about our bodies, can we show someone the things we hate and even love about ourselves? I realized as a performer I need to be able to do what I ask of the audience.

This picture of Adrian Howell’s inspired me.

How could I ask an audience member to do something so emotional as show me the bits of their bodies they hate and love. To talk to me about why they hate and dislike it without willing to be able to do it myself? I can only let my audience feel safe while doing this if I am also doing the exact same thing.

So today I did an experiment I took photos of the parts of my body I cannot stand, it was difficult even though I was on my own in my room, It was just me and my camera, yet I felt so vulnerable, I also found though I was willing to do this, when it comes to it, I can open myself up to a stranger, I can do it, I am willing to open up the lines of communication, which for our performance I think is incredibly important.

Some of my body parts which I hate, captured for anyone to see, anyone to comment or judge. Though I agree with Adrian Howell’s even though it was just me in my room, taking photos.

“It is a tenderising experience, and I hope it is a profound one for both of us. Quite often people break down and cry; there are very few people who do not in some way surrender to the experience.”
Adrian Howells

I gave in to the experience, I cried over the photos, over my looks and in a way did feel lighter in myself, this was only by myself, I look forward into seeing how it would be with someone else.

Adrian Howells | Final Fling. 2013. Adrian Howells | Final Fling. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.finalfling.com/funerals-celebrations/ceremony-planners/adrian-howells. [Accessed 18 November 2013].